FOUR BOYS OF SUMMER

FOUR BOYS OF SUMMER

Summer days and bikes and slingshots

Boyhood memories I choose to tell 

Beach and barefoot, hikes and slipknots

Retirement and grandboys partner well.

Four of us at unique stages

Two boys, a pre-teen, and older gent

Three live lively while one ages

They have forever while mine seems spent.

Then time spent with them blesses both

I’m inspired by their crisp touch on time

My tales and values nurture growth

All four assisted to make the climb.

by Ron Unruh, July 2013

HOMEMADE SLINGSHOT MADE FROM CLOTHES HANGER
ONE FOR EACH BOY

I am Learning not to Over Analyze Everything

A NEW LEARNING
I quote the following highlighted sentence from among the axioms that control the lives of the two global travelers, Cindie and Tim Travis, whom I mentioned in my piece about loving my stuff yesterday.

We needlessly complicate the world around us by over analyzing everything until we find faults and become angry.

I believe that line reflects the lifestyles into which we have evolved inside the North American urban/suburban circle. Closely connected to this observation is the realization that together we are a consumer society and individually consumerism dictates our choices.

For the business community these two social traits spell money because people will constantly over examine where and how they are living and will want more and better things. Objective social consideration informs me that these two traits produce a toxic formula for human interaction. People complicate their marriages, their own happiness, their church community, and many things by over analyzing and then becoming dissatisfied, upset and even angry because they want something different, newer, better.

Last week Christine said that she felt I had finally adjusted to being retired. Perhaps she is right. It took almost one year. For an intense, driven guy, being laid back didn’t come easily, but I like it. Today, I painted my son’s kitchen, peddled for a long bicycle ride with my grandson, sat and napped on the couch while watching the US Open, and may cruise with Christine in the convertible. It all seems so right and good. I will increasingly simplify my life. I will be content.

A WORKING RETIREMENT?

A NEW LEARNING
The recession may be making it clear to me that a leisurely retirement is impractical. Some economists say it’s not practical for many people. The majority of baby boomers plan to work in retirement. So say numerous surveys. That is, they want to keep working, even a little. Yet for those who didn’t want to work, the message may now be, ‘Forget Retirement!’ Well I didn’t do that. Retiring seemed a good idea at the time. Knowing what I know now, I might have considered postponing retirement.

The recession isn’t the only factor that compels me to rethink what I will do with some of the years ahead of me. In my mid sixties I don’t want to work full time. But will we have enough resources to fund the next 25 years. My father lived until he was 93. Increased life expectancies must play into my consideration of how I spend these years. And for me it’s not even just about economics. I want to be useful. I have 45-50 years of accumulated wisdom and experience that can benefit emerging leaders, pastors, executives. Whether the experience pays anything now is something I should investigate. Sure I want to paint pictures, but realistically that is not going to garner income to sustain a lifestyle to which we had become accustomed. The fact is, seven months into retirement, we are already realizing many adjustments with a drastically reduced monthly income. We have managed the adjustments well enough. We just bit the bullet.

We have seen some of our hard earned assets disappear in this recession and we will not recover them. Then after our imminent two month international trip which we planned for a long time but which will nonetheless cost us big bucks as the loonie dropped, I may have to come home to new realities. The long touted modern retirement picture of daily rounds at the golf course, buying an RV and spending three months in Arizona, biannual cruises, and luxury condo living will not just be reconsidered, it’s out of the question. The economy of retirement is changing.

Then I suppose there is another consideration. Working is mentally and physically energizing. It stems off dementia I am told. I probably miss the workplace social environment as much as anything.

Jeff’s 39th Birthday

A NEW LEARNING
Happy Birthday son.

Your age makes my place in the world unquestionably clear. You are approaching middle years with a small son of your own. I am the grandfather and I am a senior. I marvel at the truth that my little boy has become this impressive man who makes me proud.

You were a beautiful boy with blond hair and hazel eyes. You were your kid sister’s constant companion. You were a southpaw and I loved seeing you throw and draw and handle things with your left hand. I didn’t correct your natural preference and I was bugged by educators who did not understand the special needs of lefties, such as school desks with a supporting left arm and scissors designed for a left hand. You compensated successfully.

You made your sister laugh, frequently and uncontrollably. You have always had a great sense of humour which you honed and enhanced with sarcasm, which has systematically broken me up. Good on you. Laughter helps to make life work.

In contrast with your comedy was a low frustration level. You displayed an occasional exasperation. I reluctantly confess that you must have inherited this genetic volatility from me. Sorry! Yet with the use of ‘genetic’ I am not taking full responsibility for it. Someone else is to blame. On the other hand while I have no evidence to support my notion, I believe that irritation and determination are coupled. You were resolved to understand or overcome or master anything that challenged you enough.

You were an inquisitive child and mechanically minded child. You dismantled and reassembled objects to examine their parts. One of your standout accomplishments was your design and construction of a fiberglass model radio controlled racing boat. Then one glorious morning at the cottage the morning stillness was cut by the sound of the high-pitched success of that small boat cutting around the lake.

I will forever remember playing on the church softball team together with my teenage son for several seasons. I will never forget white water rafting with you and climbing Black Tusk. I admired your interest in various sports through the years, from wind surfing and wake boarding to snow boarding and sports fishing. I have appreciated your eagerness to try new things, fly tying, silk screening, and home renovation. I am deeply thankful for your mastery of so many handyman skills.

While you had some uncomfortable grade school experiences as a boy, it pleases me that you are a respected and effective educator today. Your students are fortunate to spend a year in your classroom learning from you about lessons and life.

What I love best about you Jeff is your love for your wife Gina and your love for your two children and your love for your Mom and me. I enjoy watching your emotion as your children amaze you and make you happy. I am grateful that your childhood faith grew into maturity in your adult years and you treat your relationship with God as integral to who you are and want to be.

Happy Birthday Jeff, my dearly loved son.

200th Anniversary of FELIX MENDELSSOHN'S BIRTH

A NEW LEARNING
I like to celebrate people who have made an extraordinary contribution.

This is the birthday of Felix Mendelssohn. This is the 200th Anniversary of his birth. He was born Jakob Ludwig Felix Mendelssohn on February 3, 1809 to a notable and wealthy Jewish family that converted to Protestantism. He was the grandson of the philosopher Moses Mendelssohn and son of Abraham who upon conversion to Christianity changed his surname to Mendelssohn-Bartholdy, which was seldom used. He died November 4, 1847.
You know Felix Mendelssohn as the German composer, pianist and conductor of the early Romantic period. He is among the most popular composers of that period although he wrote music that included both the styles of romanticism and classicalism. His works include concerti, oratorios, symphonies, piano and chamber music. He began to compose at age 11; at 16 he wrote his first masterpiece, the String Octet in E Flat Major (1825), followed by the Overture to A Midsummer Night's Dream (1826) at age seventeen. He wrote the first of a series of elegant piano works, Songs Without Words, in 1830. His Reformation (1832) and Italian (1833) symphonies date from this period. In his last decade he produced great works such as the Scottish Symphony (1842), the violin concerto* (1844), and the oratorio Elijah (1846).

Fanny Mendelssohn Hensel was his beloved sister (1805–47), and she was considered his equal in musical talent but she was discouraged from composing until her marriage to the painter Wilhelm Hensel (1794–1861); she eventually wrote more than 500 works. Her death was a severe shock to Mendelssohn. Years of overwork simultaneously caught up with him, and he died six months after her.

*Listen and watch renowned violinist Itzhak Perlman at the age of 13 years playing Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto - 2 min clip
Then look and listen to Perlman as an adult playing this same piece. - 5 min 45 sec

What a treasure people like this are. This is a happy day.

Congrats to the Steelers!

A NEW LEARNING
Okay Steelers by 4. Yes, the favourites came through with 35 seconds remaining on the game clock. It was an exciting final four minutes of play. Pittsburgh ahead, then Arizona and at last Pittsburgh again. Superbowl Champions for the sixth time in 43 Superbowls. My underdog Cardinals gave a valiant effort which fell short.

I watched the game with my son and son in law. As loud and animated as we were, cheering the Cards whom we hardly know, my son and I concluded later that ultimately it doesn’t matter to us who won. It changes nothing in our lives. I am not a gambler and I had no money on the outcome. We are weekend TV game watchers. It was hanging out that mattered.

Yesterday afternoon the guys including my three grandsons, who are 6 years and under, hung out at my son in law’s place with the large high def screen. The girls, three spouses and two granddaughters, watched a chick flick at my place. At about seven o’clock it all wound down and we went to our own homes. When my son delivered me to my house, Christine came out on the veranda to say hello to four year old Kale in the back seat. Kale said her, “love you.”

Thinking of my family, I had the distinct feeling that we were all winners yesterday.


* Top photo is of Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes, named MVP of the Super Bowl, smooching the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Photo is by Gary Horshorn/Reuters

CARDINALS ARE UNDERDOGS AND THAT MAKES THEM MY PICK

A NEW LEARNING
This is Superbowl Sunday.
Arizona Cardinals versus the Pittsburgh Steelers. Odds makers favour the Steelers to win. That makes the Cardinals the underdogs and that makes them my pick. There is no rationale, no comparative measurements, just a gut desire to see the Cards beat the odds on favourites.

That’s the way it is with me. Has been this way since I was a child. I cheer for underdogs. It’s a chemistry. I have an identification with underdog qualities that is intrinsically personal. There is a lot that goes into the making of a man. So the feelings of inferiority or lack of privilege, or bullying classmates, or failures and disappointments become fuel to the underdog’s jets when they finally power up. Even into adulthood, this drive has characterized me. Failed first year college and returned to become an honour student at Master’s and Doctoral levels.

An underdog by definition is someone, some team, some group, some anything that has a disadvantage and therefore is expected to lose a struggle or issue or contest. If the underdog wins, it is considered an upset. In 1976 underdog actor/writer Sylvester Stallone pulled off a coup at the Oscars. He wrote and starred as Rocky Balboa, a boxing bum with little chance of winning fights trains until he becomes world champ. The film won ten nominations and three Oscars including Best Picture, beating out formidable, competition: All the President's Men, Bound For Glory, Network, and Taxi Driver.

It’s a popular theme. There are many people like me with this attraction to underdog victory. The term is used to refer to a social or ethnic group that is suffering from discrimination, persecution and/or economic disability and which subsequently gains the sympathy of national or worldwide public opinion, either. In the struggles of national liberation, civil rights and social justice movements, such sympathy has often proved of crucial importance.

"The Impossible Dream" from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972) with music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion gave us lyrics such as: “To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unbeatable foe, To bear with unbearable sorrow, To run where the brave dare not go …”
The song finishes with the line, “To reach the unreachable star.”

Underdog an American animated television series presented this hero to children between 1964 and 1973 with a Shoeshine Boy’s heroic alter-ego who appeared whenever love interest Sweet Polly Purebred was being victimized by such villains as Simon Bar Sinister or Riff Raff. Underdog always speaks in rhymes, such as "There’s no need to fear; Underdog is here!".

Cards by 10.

An Underdog cartoon clip
The lyrics and pleasant rendition of 'The Impossible Dream."
Elvis singing The Impossible Dream

Another Saturday - They are All the Same to Me

A NEW LEARNING
It’s Saturday once again.

It’s hardly distinguishable from yesterday. Every day begins the same for me now.
There is little variation between my days.

I have a lot to learn about retirement. It has been six months. I have not completed the mandatory orientation so I am still experiencing a learning curve, gradual rather than steep but noticeable. I am not out of breath but out of energy.

In the past I was known for my energy and productivity and I generated energy based on the volume and weight of the demands upon my life and my time. I am wired that way. With few demands upon me the energy has also dissipated. And it was my choice. The wiring was getting a bit singed.

But wow! Here I am at Saturday once again and it hardly matters, because tomorrow will be the same as yesterday. Oh we’ll interpose some identifiables such as a Superbowl game, and a church service on Sunday whereas Friday was one of the days that my wife babysits two grandchildren each week. But all the days are lookalike days pretty much.

Here is the thing with me. I am not in touch with my feelings. Christine has told me this before but last night we were watching Richard Geer in ‘Shall We Dance,” and in several scenes Richard is sitting at his desk in his city office. I realized something last night that I have not previously admitted or even realized. I am experiencing career postpartum blues. I miss going to the office. I miss my office. I miss a place with consequential activity and the noise of other active adults and their conversation. I miss the large desk and the shelves of books and the large wall of windows and an executive assistant. I miss the way my mornings began. The predawn meditative start with cuppa joe and hurried shower and drive to the office with the north shore mountains ahead of me until I turned onto the campus environment of a stimulating academic world.

Oh, have I mentioned before that Christine has also been experiencing the effect of my life change because it has impacted her personally too. She came to enjoy waking to kiss me goodbye and to know I would be gone until supper hour. She enjoyed the luxury of a large home space not for the cleaning it required but the privacy it afforded. No interruptions except those she welcomed or initiated.

This is definitely a time of modification and adjustment and emotion factors prominently into the changes. Yet it is still good. It is still right – this time and place I am in. I am happy. We are happy. We are content. Over the next year a purposeful use of our abilities and gifts will become clear. A lifetime of accumulated ‘stuff’ will be reduced to what a smaller living space can contain. We will travel and taste and talk outside of Canada fulfilling dreams for which a desk and four walls are unnecessary. We just need one another, our health and a map and a good pair of dancing shoes.

MONEY - THE GREAT DISTRACTION – THIS NASTY INTERRUPTION

A NEW LEARNING
This would be a good time to be a billionaire.
I’m serious. Of course I won’t make it into the top 100 Canadian billionaires club any time soon. These billionaires have each taken a financial hit this year, a few billion dollars – gone! But then there is a bit of a cushion upon which to fall back. And the wealthiest man in the world, Warren Buffet is 80 years old. “What will I do?” is not an expression anyone hears him say.

In this reality show called My Retirement I am spending more time thinking about money than I have ever wanted to do. My issue is that this preoccupation is forced upon me, first by the reality of a pension income and second by the reality of the Great Disruption. This toughening economic time, this darkening cloud does not have an immediate silver lining on my show.

So believe me I am more annoyed than I am jealous that entertainers and sportsmen and big business people are pulling down enough money per year to capably support every household in my very large housing development. And still people like us curiously clamour to read how much she earned for starring in that movie, or how much he is earning for each basket he makes or how much she brings in for countless chips being installed in Blackberrrys.

This has been a depressing week for Christine and me.
We received our year end RRSP investment statement and learned that within a couple of months as stocks went slaloming south we had lost thousands of dollars from a meager portfolio we had worked our butts off to assemble. I keep looking for someone to blame but it’s futile. My commitment to a God who transcends all of this, and has more resources than we imagine keeps refocusing my gaze and ratcheting up my dependence upon Him.
Mark Zuckerberg is 23 and is the world's youngest billionaire. He designed Facebook a few years ago from his college dorm room. Good for him.

Eccentricity

A NEW LEARNING
When I was young I didn’t understand life so I had low tolerance for eccentric people, specially when they were members of my extended family. I thought everyone had to conform to societal expectations or mine. Eccentricity is not madness. It’s oddness. An eccentric’s behaviour deviates from societal norms but otherwise eccentrics function normally enough in society. It is unconventionality at its best and it should not be viewed apprehensively or amusingly. It should be respected. In its purest state eccentricity is a kind of innocence.

I am wiser now. I now love eccentric people. I want to be one. You might say “you either are one or you aren’t.” I am not convinced about that. Eccentricity is often associated with genius, giftedness and creativity. Well that’s me. An arrogant assertion I grant you. I have come to believe that I am a secret eccentric, or maybe more accurately a person who has suppressed his eccentricity. For too long my eccentric self has been inhibited by social boundaries and finally I must let it out of the closet.

But my self analysis doesn’t appear to correspond with what sociologists know. An eccentric’s habits stem from a mind so original that it cannot be conformed to societal norms. So can I be eccentric? I think so. Sometimes eccentricity is clearly intentional. Some artists, comedians, artists even athletes maintain funny and irregular behaviour to draw attention and to exploit the benefits of such abnormality. In some cases people have embraced a public eccentricity for religious reasons.

I will have you know that I intend to be eccentric at all costs. Even if I must pretend. Ohh, that doesn’t sound genuinely eccentric, at all. There are comparable terms for eccentric. ‘Avante-garde’ is too sophisticated for me. ‘Quirky’ may be close but suggests a neurosis. I like ‘original.’ I am an original. Yes, that’s it. My artist friend Barbara Boldt decries prints and sells only her originals. Once an original is painted and sold, it’s gone. No one else can have a copy. It is one of a kind. Okay perhaps I'm not eccentric. Original - That’s me. Pretty good breakthrough for one day don’t you think?

* Photo portrait depicts Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali, an exceptional eccentric by lifestyle, looks and artistry, his behaviour sometimes gaining more attention than his art.
* Top image is of Dali's 'Profile of Time.'
* Lower image is of Dali's most famous painting, 'the Persistance of Memory.'

Websites - I am Voting for the Bloc

A NEW LEARNING
Compare them yourself. Here is the new Government of USA website entitled ‘Welcome to the White House”, and here is the existing Canadian Parliament Website. Which impresses you? makes you want to read further and to explore? Now here is the official Government of Canada site, a very comprehensive information vehicle. So kudos for content on this one.

I would describe the Canadian Parliament site as unimpressive. But it is more than that. It gives the appearance of an early entrance into the internet website era, even a reluctant admission that this is the most comprehensive form of communication today. In contrast the USA government site was newly installed on January 20 2009, Inauguration Day and carries the same look and colours of Barak Obama’s presidential campaign site. It is designed to engage people in government and to increase the information flow in both directions. Our Canadian site currently is configured with small font, jammed with information on presenting pages and not at all stimulating to explore unless in serious need of information. (Did you notice how my visual images contrast the scale of my impressions of each?)

So I decided to write to the Canadian Parliament website at their invitation to say the following:
“This is not a criticism but a suggestion. Having just viewed comparatively the new web site of the USA government and our own Canadian government site, perhaps a refreshment of our Canadian site design with use-friendliness, colour, and larger font would increase user volume and ease of use. Since timing of USA's new site was January 20th 2009 might it not be timely to affect this redesign for January 26 2009 start of the next session? Thanks for reading.
http://ronunruhgallery.webs.com/ Ron”

Yes you can see that I even threw my art website at them in a brazen self promotion.



I would love to see a Canadian government website of which I can be as proud as I am of my country.

1. Conservative Party website is attractive, easily navigable, informative but not current and still contains the old fighting anti NDP and Liberal rhetoric.
2. The Liberal Party site is cast in red & white, plainly and simply, easily navigated but disappointingly uninformative about major issues and policies and agenda.
3. The NDP site is shockingly and tastelessly orange as in construction coveralls, but it's well designed and provides good visuals.
4. The Bloc Quebecois Party website has the mandatory English option, good visuals and colours and is very informative.
5. The Rhinocerus Party is designed in simple red and white with the goofy rhino logo, looks like a cartoon and does not work well.
5. The Green Party site is... green, well laid out, is easily understood, has very good issues and solutions lists. I am impressed.

Of the Canadian collection in terms of design and useful information I would shortlist the Conservative, Green and Bloc sites and my vote goes to the Bloc.

Freedom 85

A NEW LEARNING
Yea, yea, yea, the world economy sucks and North America’s is becoming suckier as bureaucrats realize the size of the hole we are in. Change champion Barak Obama is now sounding like gloomy gus and he hasn’t even been sworn in. But he did get elected on the theme of change. Harper and Flaherty are trying to prepare us for the new budget with dark warnings of things to come. The national economic crisis comes at the worst time for me. I am retired. I have no idea quite yet how this crisis will affect me but I was certainly under the delusion that things would remain constant when I retired.

I am supposed to be golfing. When I was 55 years old it was apparent to me that Freedom 55 was out of my reach. Then I turned 60 and Freedom 70 seemed a vapory dream. Today I am 66 and retired. So was the retirement a mistake? My reality calculator projects Freedom 85 for me because then my needs will be considerably reduced if existent at all. I probably will have the resources for Freedom 85. Oh it’s not that I didn’t see this coming. One doesn’t work in a not for profit field for forty-five years and still hold out hope of finishing with a residence, a beach house, a chalet, a motor coach and a yacht. Decade after decade there is an overcast prospect of coming to the end of my working life with only the monies that the governments provides and what I have managed to RRSP from meager wages.

We are definitely in a recession. Whether we are in a depression remains to be argued and proven. Economies have generally rebounded from recessions without government intervention because equity prices pick up. A depression is different because it does not self correct and requires help. As we see in the USA, huge monetary help. In Canada Harper and company have already given fiscal assurances. Harper was here in BC this week standing with our Premier to champion a new highway which will provide 7000 jobs. Oh yes and it will cost BC in excess of 700 million dollars while the feds put up 300 million. (Photo is of a Depression bread line)

Christine and I have saved money for a glorious vacation in 2009 with its bleak forecast. Should we sit on that money and wait out the downturn for all its dark possibilities? Nope, we are vacating. We are going to pump our monies into the economy and have a blast. Freedom 66 I call it. When we return I don’t think I will be forced to living on the street. If I have to, I will go back to work. Tim Horton’s is looking for part-time and full-time employees. Seriously. It has to be Horton’s. Starbucks speak is like speaking in tongues to me. Or I can serve pizza at Pizza Hut. Buon appetito.

Work After Retirement

A NEW LEARNING
I have known people who through bitter life experiences have become cynics who are prematurely disappointed in the future. I am not one of these. Oh I have brushed up against adversity occasionally. I have never lost heart. Most retirement books focus on financial planning. Prudent but myopic. Having worked all my life in the not-for-profit sector, I should be close to pessimism if not panic given my retirement preparedness. But I’m not.

The books inappropriately project the idea that the last day of work is the goal. For many people retirement does not announce the end of working but rather a career and lifestyle transition. A retiree has multiple options, continuing to work but with fewer hours, returning to school, changing careers, venturing into an entrepreneurial pursuit, doing volunteer work, or just enjoying leisure and travel or blending all of this and trying new things. What’s to be cynical about?

If you have walked into a MacDonald’s or Tim Horton’s at lunch and been served by seniors and alternately by teens, I’ll certify you were served more effectively, quicker and more cheerily by the seniors. Seniors know how to work - more life experience under the belt. Pounds too maybe. A retiree never has to be concerned about finding a job. Many employees are looking for senior employees because they represent a wealth of experience with little or no necessary training.

Pizza Hut’s website contains a page that invites you to ‘Think about Coming Back.’ They are not talking about returning to scarf another pizza. The page goes on to say, “Sure, you’re retired. But that doesn’t mean you’re ready to stop working. Come back to Pizza Hut. We’ll make sure you stay active and engaged with people on a daily basis. What’s more, you can earn some extra cash—and have an incredible amount of fun in a lively atmosphere.” Look at the site for yourself.

Retirement doesn't always mean a complete separation from paid work. The way I see it through my graduated bifocals, retirement provides opportunity to continue to work by choice at jobs that you can enjoy. One in three retirees age 65 and older has a retirement job. Retirement jobs are particularly popular with baby boomers entering retirement. Eighty percent of Boomers expect to work in retirement jobs even if it’s part-time for either income or enjoyment. This is transforming the way people regard retirement, resulting in a new image of aging and the role of older people within our society.

How’s retirement treating you?

A NEW LEARNING
“How’s retirement treating you,” everyone who hasn’t seen me for a month asks. “Really good!” I blithely say. “I like it.”

It takes too long to answer candidly one of those predictable break-the-ice exchanges. If I were to answer fully, my acquaintance would charge me therapist fees. It’s been five months now since I retired and began staying at home – in Christine’s space. Are you intuitive? Do you know where this is heading?

Prior to my retirement becoming official, a thoughtful woman gave Christine a book to prepare her for my homecoming. “Honey, I’m Home for Good,” was the title. Christine loved it and laughed, that is before she had to live it. Does anyone have a problem? I am always here. That’s the problem. I should cover my tail on this one. It’s not so much a problem as an adjustment. I have upset my wife’s routine. I haven’t meant to do it but that doesn’t matter. Hitherto, what a great and antiquated word. Hitherto when I worked, I slipped away early to the office and Christine could sip a few mouthfuls of coffee, go for her morning walk, sit with her journal, be quiet, then in time turn on Regis and Kelly, perhaps dust and clean house in a stress-free manner taking as much time as she liked while listening to CBC classical. Now she may be sitting with her journal when I trundle to the kitchen for another cup or go to the can. Apparently the sound of flushing disturbs one’s prose. Oh, certainly I have agreed to share household chores, so I vacuum and I wash the kitchen floor and do anything else she invites me to do. But that poses a concern because I work too fast and do not take time to enjoy the process and thereby create an environment that makes her feel that she has to rush her tasks as well. Christine also graciously cares for two of our grandchildren two days each week. With me at home, she cares for three dependents. She is constantly concerned about how I am handling the grandkids’ volume and interruptions.

That is how I would respond to the initial question if I felt a freedom to be more than merely courteous. Oh, and that is only half of it but it’s enough for now. It’s a good thing that Christine doesn’t bother reading my blog. She wonders why anyone wants to air personal stuff anyway. If she knew about this entry, well! What would she do? Maybe threaten not to go to bed with me. Big deal. I am already sleeping in the guest room, for three weeks as a matter of fact because I have had a lingering head and bronchial thing going on.

Really good. We like it.


You can Order from Amazon, ‘Honey, I’m Home for Good!’ 14 new from $4.25 23 used from $1.92

Where's Grandpa?

A NEW LEARNING
I have great admiration for my Indo Canadian and Asian neighbours who live amicably within multi-generational homes. If they can do it why can't I? For one year my family, six adults and five grandchildren looked forward to one week together in an executive lakeside home in Tulameen BC. I was paying $2500 for the week.

I came to this week having just retired. My prior notions about retirement serenity, reflection, relaxing days with Christine, hours to read, write and paint got reshaped. I love my children and their spouses and I love my grandchildren. Guess what I have discovered. I can’t stand them all together 24/7 for more than one day.

I thought the title 'Where's Grandpa' would be less offensive than 'Holiday from Hades.' One day after our arrival at the happy holiday place I was looking for a hiding place. I found it in Christine’s and my bedroom. “Where’s Grandpa?” was a constant refrain. Gradually everyone knew that when the door was shut, I was lying on my bed, with ear plugs stuffed into my ears, either reading or sleeping. I spent hours there. I know I wasn’t much fun but I also know I have to cut myself some slack. I have never been retired before. I am getting accustomed to myself and my new identity. I am adjusting to living on a government pension. My grandchildren have never been 8, 6, 3, 3 and 1.5 years old and living, waking, eating, screaming, crying and sleeping in the same building with such a great echo and sliding doors. This week of togetherness was prefaced by the c-c-coziness of three of the grandchildren and their parents living in our home for two weeks because of a relocation from Edmonton and the need to live with us until it all settles out.

I am a good Grandpa to one or two at a time and I can be found when the volume is lower and the children are pleasant. We may do another family vacation one day, but likely in three separate cabins.