DREAMING FORWARD, WISHING BACK
Who'd want to be fifty they asked
When I told them that's what I wanted
And I was fifteen.
Had enough of teen years,
Convinced they would not improve.
Why not skip the discomfort I thought.
At fifty success and security were assured.
Yet now I'm half again as many as fifty
I'm thinking inversely and fifteen's not bad.
I could eat what I want. Didn't put on weight.
I had hair I could style. I could run forever.
I could sleep through the night. Nothing hurts.
I want to be fifteen again.
But then I remember why fifteen sucked.
I'm still in my folks' house. I can't drive the car yet.
I'm attracted to girls but self-conscious.
I've got stupid school for the foreseeable future.
Oh yes, then comes finding work and grinding work
And family and mortgage and stress
And wishing for fifty plus and retirement.
So I'm thinking it's okay where I am
I lived a good life with a good wife
Who gave me two loving and talented children
Who gave me five adorable grandkids
And I'm settled, no dreaming forward, no wishing back
It is what it is and I'm fine.
© Ron Unruh, February 2019
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