I AM A SEPTUAGENARIAN ACTION FIGURE

It's September 13th, and once again as it does every year, my birthday celebration has arrived. This year the day has substantially more significance for me, in that while I have been enjoying a few of the perks of my senior classification, I am now a confirmed codger. I have turned 70 years of age today. I am a septuagenarian. Can you see the numerical French root 'sept' in yet another English term?

The term might be used in the following manner but I will not let this be true of me, 'He sat there, a portly septuagenarian sunk deeply into a leather chair." Rather, I intend it be said of me, "Ron was the first septuagenarian action figure." I may have a long way to go since although I go to the gym each morning at 6 AM, I am failing to lose any significant weight. My tummy although still muffin topped is hard. Because of that, although Christine knows that I leave for the gym, she suspects I am stopping for a fast-food breakfast.

The world continues to be obsessed with youth and beauty and success and that won't change. The fashion world gravitates to 20-somethings and that too is predictable. However, I have earned my sartorial stripes and I am a fabulous septuagenarian as is my wife Christine. Our style is timeless and it has little to do with fashion or skin-care. We are simply sensational and have the confidence to prove it. We own our looks and at 70, I am cool.

What a Wonderful 70th Birthday I had.
I went to the gym, shopped for a rose bush and a plum tree, took my grandchildren and daughter Cari for after-school pre-dinner ice cream cones at Andy’s in White Rock, walked the beach, came home for aperitifs & Lasagna supper with my family (11 of us) courtesy of Christine, my requested dessert (my mother’s Egg Custard Pie Recipe) went on a scavenger hunt organized by my grandchildren, sat while family read blessings to me capped with a prayer, then to each of my children’s home to plant the rose bush and the plum tree. And all children to bed. And then the grand finale, a serendipity … en route home I decided to drive past our old home and there we saw our kitchen stove, only 3 years old sitting on the front lawn available to any claimant of garbage collector … nothing wrong with it … so, I quickly returned to my son Jeff’s place, we hooked up his utility trailer, picked up the stove and delivered it to a family with four small children whom we knew could benefit by having it.

Is it Important to be Better Than Anyone Else?

A NEW LEARNING
In reflecting on Roger Federer’s monumental achievement on Sunday, I asked myself, “What must it be like to be better at something than everyone else in the world?” Accompanying questions might be, “Is it important to be better than everyone else?” or perhaps, “Am I better at something than everyone else in the world?”

I came to some conclusions. It’s more important to some people than others to be better at something than anyone else. It becomes the dominant motivator of competitive people regardless of the contest. It is enormously beneficial to careers and advancing oneself in the world.

Roger Federer was better this year at Wimbledon than all other male tennis players. Federer won the Men’s Single Trophy for the sixth time, and in the process won his fifteenth grand slam title, one more than Pete Sampras who retired in 2002. He did it by beating Andy Roddick in the thirtieth game of the fifth set, the longest title match in history. He made history at many levels. All of this success has branded Federer, which is a good thing monetarily. His father wore a ball cap with a classy signature RF logo that now extols Roger’s celebrity. He and Nike have partnered to produce a catwalk style of apparel for the man – what a racket! His monogrammed shoes are sold at the Bay.

Some further conclusions. It is never too late to try to find that something in which you are better than anyone.

For instance, Mike Flynt is the best sixty year old college football player ever. Well he is the only grandfather to ever play college ball. He missed his fourth year of eligibility thirty-seven years ago, and at age 59 asked for a chance to make the team again. He made it in 2007 with Sul Ross State University in Texas. Flynt has given new meaning to being a college senior. Flynt is a strength coach by trade and was a conditioning coach at Nebraska, Oregon and Texas A&M. He is the inventor of the Powerbase Fitness exercise equipment. He is a grandfather and is retired. He has written a book called ‘SENIOR.’ Here is his personal and fitness website.

Ron's Opinion: I am not better at anything than everyone else, and it is no longer important for me to be better than anyone else but I will strive to do what only I can do and to do it so well that it makes a positive impression or contribution within my influence circle.

CHEERS ! Where everybody knows your name

A NEW LEARNING
There are other examples of community that I might choose but one of the most memorable examples of value of social interaction was the bar made famous by television’s long running ‘Cheers.’ The theme song of Cheers, was a compelling hit, with welcome lyrics, sentiments with which everyone can identify.

“Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.”

(Tap the lyrics and listen)
Unless one is suffering from one of many disorders or syndromes or illnesses we generally like to be with people who know us by first name and are happy to see us. It feels good to be among others who understand what we are living with. We enjoy people who are interesting and interested in us.

When I retired from a very active career and life which involved daily contact with people I surprised myself with how little I needed to be with people. Being alone was just fine with me. It drove my wife crazy that I didn’t show interest in going out, doing things with others. It gradually changed and is changing. Now I miss going to the office and to boarding the plane to head to another function with hundreds of people. So, now I am relishing the ordinary interfaces I am privileged to have with people, the serendipities as well as the planned coffee shop meetings. These are people whose names I know and who know my name, and they are as pleased to see me as I am to recognize them, and we share a little of life for a little while. For those minutes accumulated over the week I am made richer and wiser and useful and encouraged. I guess I don’t need Cheers. I simply need to cheer up and be cheered by my friends and acquaintances.

"The only way to have a friend is to be one." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Marriage Should be Better

A NEW LEARNING
After being married for forty-one years and after officiating hundreds of marriages over forty years, and after observing the confusion, dysfunction, dissolution and calamity of many marriages I know that marriages should be better. Whether they can be is going to always be a matter for two individuals within a marriage to determine.

Having been around the block a few times I have seen good speakers address the subject. They come around cyclically, different spokespeople in every decade as though adjusting the important value lessons within the culture of the time. Currently one of the best presenters is Mark Gungor who is the senior pastor of Celebration Church in Green Bay, Wisconsin, a church that is multi-site with three campuses. He is also a motivational speaker, author, musician, producer and CEO of Laugh Your Way America. He has been married to Debbie for 34 years and has two married children and three grandchildren. Mark has developed seminars in which he teaches in a comedic manner principles that empower marriages. I am sure that his approach could become clichéd and tiresome as all these tutorials can, but Mark is an effective communicator even on video.

The very fact that you can draw a husband and wife to the same venue to listen together is a breakthrough in some marriages. Humour and truth are a good blend for effecting learning. I could consume 30 minutes of your time right now if you watch all the links I am going to list for you. These are on YouTube

1. Men’s Brains and Women’s Brains – 10:28 minutes
2. Men's Sex Drive – 3:54 minutes
3. Ask More Than Once – 5:21 minutes
4. Rainbow – 2:36 minutes
5. Song of Solomon Girl - 4:06 minutes

Mark’s popular seminar, Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage® is available for purchase as a DVD and has now as a book. It can be a helpful personal or group study. Bailing on a marriage is a pretty common solution for people these days. In these formats, then content explores numerous subjects such as the myth of a "soul mate," the different ways men and women think, the conflicting levels of libido, and the necessity to forgive. Gungor asserts what many of us have heard before that the key to marital bliss is not romance but work and skill. Couples must work at maintaining their relationship and developing the skills to make it succeed.

Mark has been featured on Focus on the Family, TBN and ABC News. His daily radio program, The Better Marriage Minute, is heard on 250 radio stations. In the fall of 2008, his new radio talk show, The Mark Gungor Radio Show, debuted, broadcasting live over the Internet weekly. He is also the creator of a new television series, Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking.

THE ECONOMY AND THE RETIRED PERSON

A NEW LEARNING
The House of Commons (Chambre des communes), our democratically elected body that consists of 308 members divided among the primary four parties in such a way that we have a minority government went back to business yesterday. Yesterday the Speech from the Throne by our Governor General contained the predictable recitation of realities.

Today the first order of business is the 2009 Budget. Today the first order of business is the 2009 Budget. I repeat myself because I am so concerned for the sake of our country, for the sake of parliament and for my own sake as a retiree.CBC provides live coverage at 4PM ET.

Life is Changing

Life is changing and I struggle to adjust to what I’m feeling.
Too much time to think about the low cards life is dealing.
I’m not ancient but I’m ageing and I think of what will be,
Not a good approach to living to reflect on what I see.
The world’s economy is tanking and the globe is in recession.
Federal bailouts of big business try to keep us from Depression.
Haven’t worried for a long time what might occur tomorrow.
Since my children became adults, I haven’t felt the need to borrow.
I’m not working. I’m not earning and the prices spiral higher.
Didn’t care much what the cost was, now I am a careful buyer.
Have a feeling that our savings may not be enough to make it
And the feeling’s getting stronger with no way for me to shake it.
‘Take no thought about tomorrow nor the clothes that you shall wear,’
Is the counsel I’ve given others when I had so much to share.
‘Don’t be anxious but in all things with thanksgiving tell the Lord’
Believing that your next need will be one you can afford.
I have no reason yet to panic though investments took a hit
They say recovery’s round the corner and will claw back bit by bit.
Haven’t got so long to wait until the market turns around
Want to travel while our bodies are still reasonably sound.
Coffee mug in hand we ponder what our next move ought to be
Should I find work and end my life as a retiree?
It’s a toss up when you consider that the government will take
Some of what they give me when they don’t give me a break.


© Ron Unruh January 26, 2009

The World Is Not All About Youth

"In dog years, I'm dead."
A NEW LEARNING
I am having a little difficulty with my place in this world these past few days. It’s an inner issue about purpose and value. It may be a classic and predictable concern for retirees, but this time it’s mine. It’s not merely an intellectual question. It’s emotional. It grabs one in the gut. Christine feels it too - for herself. The issue is intensified by the downturn in respect from younger people towards those with age.

When I was a young person I respected my elders. That was attributable to my upbringing as well as my own intuitive conclusion that insight and experience lived in older people and warranted deference. Vintage people with creativity and knowledge still exist today but they can be overlooked. Everyone loses when this happens.

I observe that in this internet era, youthful, innovative and technologically savvy geniuses are celebrated. Yet there are others beside the young intellects and artists who are making contributions. To encourage myself today I am reciting the stories of a few people who have done some pretty remarkable things in their senior years or in spite of their senior years. I had just finished college when Konrad Adenauer became Chancellor of West Germany at the age of 73 and left at age 83. In February 2007 Olive Riley at age 107 became the world’s oldest blogger with The Life of Riley, making her final post on 26 June 2008 from a nursing home in Woy Woy, New South Wales and dying at the age of 108. At the age of 96, Harry Bernstein published his first book in 2007, entitled The Invisible Wall, dealing with his abusive, alcoholic father. In 2008 he published his second book, The Dream, which centers on his family’s move to the United States when he was twelve. Mae Laborde, 98, standing 4 feet 10 inches with snow-white hair, rosy-red cheeks and a peaches-and-cream smile is only five years into her acting career and she has become TV’s ubiquitous grandma. When asked for secrets to living a long life, she advises to never retire. Peter Oakley, born August 20 1927 named himself geriatric 1927 on his YouTube videos which are called ‘Telling it All.’ He began the videos in 2006 and within two years he has over 60,000 subscribers to his stories and anecdotes. You must take a peek at his initial attempt. That first one has had 2,802,471 hits. They became increasingly better and funnier.

Harland David Sanders, better known as Colonel Sanders perfected a way of cooking chicken that made his restaurant highly popular. With $105.00 from his first Social Security check at age 65, Sanders funded visits to potential franchisees and thus emerged the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants empire. He died at age 90 and was still a spokesperson for the product of The Colonel's secret flavor recipe of 11 herbs and spices that creates the famous "finger lickin' good" chicken.

So what have I learned? Not sure! But I believe I must work against my predisposition, impatience. I won’t market chicken or jump into politics but the years ahead can be constructive, creative and of value and achievement. What I require is – vision. That’s another blog.

Eccentricity

A NEW LEARNING
When I was young I didn’t understand life so I had low tolerance for eccentric people, specially when they were members of my extended family. I thought everyone had to conform to societal expectations or mine. Eccentricity is not madness. It’s oddness. An eccentric’s behaviour deviates from societal norms but otherwise eccentrics function normally enough in society. It is unconventionality at its best and it should not be viewed apprehensively or amusingly. It should be respected. In its purest state eccentricity is a kind of innocence.

I am wiser now. I now love eccentric people. I want to be one. You might say “you either are one or you aren’t.” I am not convinced about that. Eccentricity is often associated with genius, giftedness and creativity. Well that’s me. An arrogant assertion I grant you. I have come to believe that I am a secret eccentric, or maybe more accurately a person who has suppressed his eccentricity. For too long my eccentric self has been inhibited by social boundaries and finally I must let it out of the closet.

But my self analysis doesn’t appear to correspond with what sociologists know. An eccentric’s habits stem from a mind so original that it cannot be conformed to societal norms. So can I be eccentric? I think so. Sometimes eccentricity is clearly intentional. Some artists, comedians, artists even athletes maintain funny and irregular behaviour to draw attention and to exploit the benefits of such abnormality. In some cases people have embraced a public eccentricity for religious reasons.

I will have you know that I intend to be eccentric at all costs. Even if I must pretend. Ohh, that doesn’t sound genuinely eccentric, at all. There are comparable terms for eccentric. ‘Avante-garde’ is too sophisticated for me. ‘Quirky’ may be close but suggests a neurosis. I like ‘original.’ I am an original. Yes, that’s it. My artist friend Barbara Boldt decries prints and sells only her originals. Once an original is painted and sold, it’s gone. No one else can have a copy. It is one of a kind. Okay perhaps I'm not eccentric. Original - That’s me. Pretty good breakthrough for one day don’t you think?

* Photo portrait depicts Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali, an exceptional eccentric by lifestyle, looks and artistry, his behaviour sometimes gaining more attention than his art.
* Top image is of Dali's 'Profile of Time.'
* Lower image is of Dali's most famous painting, 'the Persistance of Memory.'

I don't like me today

A NEW LEARNING
People preparing to retire might want to avoid this blog entry.
I will be transparent.
I am not liking my age or my retirement today. I’m not liking myself much either. I am feeling sorry for myself. It’s entirely self-centered I am certain.

It’s snowing again. I have been out there twice today. With every shovel load I feel arthritic discomfort in my hands.
Time was when no amount of snow stopped me from driving but now the fear factor keeps us at home.
My son in law kindly picked us up to drive us to their home for supper so we would not have to drive. Both Christine and I appreciated this but we felt ancient.
I stopped for a Starbucks and noted the place full of young faces with no lines around their eyes, tight skin, brilliant eyes, pure white teeth and large smiles, and I was jealous and self conscious.
As I read about notable people who died at ages just years beyond my current age, I had the distinct sense that I’m on a slide that’s getting increasingly greasy.
Each day is like vacation, oh yes, so I do not immediately shave and dress well because I am not going anywhere. Who shouldn’t like that …but I feel lazy.
I am at home, and Christine is still coming to terms with my constant presence, albeit with my determined effort to remain in my studio/den and out of the way.
I used to be proud that I could drink any amount coffee well into the night and still sleep. Like others whom I have belittled I am now avoiding caffeine after dark. This reality is upsetting to me.
I confuse myself, pleased to be free of the press of deadlines yet often longing for the demands; happy with my isolation, disturbed to be interrupted by people or commitments and then quite to the contrary missing my former daily social contacts and interaction.
I have been painting a portrait of my departed parents and as I look into the eyes I am painting on their faces I am inconsolably lonely.
Every day is very much the same as the one before.
It’s snowing again.

Fortunately, tomorrow I may think this is the greatest time of life ever. Yea, right!

Everyone has a Plan for My Life

A NEW LEARNING
You might be amazed at the advice that is available for retirees or people heading to that classification. Lita Epstein has written 'Working After Retirement For Dummies' and Amazon has 25 used & new copies available for 33 cents which is all some of us can afford.

Lynn O'Shaughnessy has written the 'Retirement Bible' and there are 17 used & new copies for 45 cents, and Robert C. Carlson has written 'The New Rules of Retirement.'

A couple of titles I love. 'Gringos in Paradise: An American Couple Builds Their Retirement Dream House in a Seaside Village in Mexico' by Barry Golson and 'This Old Man and the Sea: How My Retirement Turned Into a Ten-Year Sail Around the World' by Robert S. Ashton.

Don’t those latter titles open up possibilities?

Just about everyone who has known me expects that I will return to Christian ministry of some formal kind. I have been a public figure with leadership skills, and abilities to write and to speak. I have an obligation to use these it is inferred. Yet the conclusion to which I came several months ago is that I have been released from this responsibility for full-time Christian work. I can recall twenty years ago pontificating about seniors who shut down their service to relax until kingdom come. I believe now that what is important for a man or woman who is following God, is to be listening and to be available. I have given myself one year to be quiet to discern how to spend the next segment of life.

Currently this is what I am hearing and doing. I am painting pictures, have sold some and will sell others. This outlet introduces me to people whom I would otherwise not meet. Being light in one’s community is emitted in subtle ways as well as overt public ways. A local news rag recently interviewed me for an article entitled ‘Pastor to Painter.’ I am painting a picture for a local golf course in exchange for one year’s family golf membership. Golfing with my grandkids may be what God wants me to do. I have completed a children’s novel which someone has promised to publish, the proceeds for which will be dedicated to the care of widows and orphans and feeding the poor. The book espouses family values, respect for parents, faith, love, hope within a fictional presentation. It may affect lives.

As a teenager I memorized John Milton’s ‘On His Blindness’ in which Milton reminded himself that even though his blindness might impair his writing, “they also serve who only stand and wait.” I will also still serve but perhaps in different ways than I have for 40 years.