I'M NOT A NARC

Tell me how you think I feel ... sitting in the dental hygienist's chair, my mouth open as she worked and I dozed off. Following that appointment I drove to Army & Navy & noticed an 80 year old man in the shoe department sitting with a boot in his hands and he was sound asleep, head bobbing. How far am I from that?

I mentioned this to a few people. One person calls it narcolepsy. Great, now I have a neurological disorder. I don't just catnap. You can call me 'Narc.' However, I am convinced I do not have narcolepsy.

I like what my wife said. She told me that she could never just doze off, suggesting to me that I was fortunate. I can grab ZZZZ's anytime and any place obviously.

I am pretty sure I have an explanation. There has to be some connection between daytime drowsiness and early morning rising. I love my early hours, quiet, productive, but I likely pay for them by zoning out or getting drop dead weary when it's convenient.

No, I don't have narcolepsy. I can contr.......ol my.. sleeping................. and... waking......... cy..cles.............................

I WONDER WHERE HE IS

I WONDER WHERE HE IS.

He has not been there for a few days.

For months he sat on the bench inside a covered bus shelter, a shopping cart, ‘borrowed’ from some grocery outlet, packed high with his belongings.

Bearded, usually wearing a cap, he sat for hours, both day and night. He couldn’t venture too far, not with everything he owned left unattended. Not that anyone would touch, never mind take his stuff. He slept on that bench.  Occasionally I might see him exit from nearby bushes where he had relieved himself.

I AM A SEPTUAGENARIAN ACTION FIGURE

It's September 13th, and once again as it does every year, my birthday celebration has arrived. This year the day has substantially more significance for me, in that while I have been enjoying a few of the perks of my senior classification, I am now a confirmed codger. I have turned 70 years of age today. I am a septuagenarian. Can you see the numerical French root 'sept' in yet another English term?

The term might be used in the following manner but I will not let this be true of me, 'He sat there, a portly septuagenarian sunk deeply into a leather chair." Rather, I intend it be said of me, "Ron was the first septuagenarian action figure." I may have a long way to go since although I go to the gym each morning at 6 AM, I am failing to lose any significant weight. My tummy although still muffin topped is hard. Because of that, although Christine knows that I leave for the gym, she suspects I am stopping for a fast-food breakfast.

The world continues to be obsessed with youth and beauty and success and that won't change. The fashion world gravitates to 20-somethings and that too is predictable. However, I have earned my sartorial stripes and I am a fabulous septuagenarian as is my wife Christine. Our style is timeless and it has little to do with fashion or skin-care. We are simply sensational and have the confidence to prove it. We own our looks and at 70, I am cool.

What a Wonderful 70th Birthday I had.
I went to the gym, shopped for a rose bush and a plum tree, took my grandchildren and daughter Cari for after-school pre-dinner ice cream cones at Andy’s in White Rock, walked the beach, came home for aperitifs & Lasagna supper with my family (11 of us) courtesy of Christine, my requested dessert (my mother’s Egg Custard Pie Recipe) went on a scavenger hunt organized by my grandchildren, sat while family read blessings to me capped with a prayer, then to each of my children’s home to plant the rose bush and the plum tree. And all children to bed. And then the grand finale, a serendipity … en route home I decided to drive past our old home and there we saw our kitchen stove, only 3 years old sitting on the front lawn available to any claimant of garbage collector … nothing wrong with it … so, I quickly returned to my son Jeff’s place, we hooked up his utility trailer, picked up the stove and delivered it to a family with four small children whom we knew could benefit by having it.