Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Panic Attack - My Mind is Going

I have been conscious of modest short term memory loss. Family and friends graciously suggested over recent months that it was my work load and the multiplicity of details with which I contended that caused me to be forgetful. Three years ago I suffered a grand mal seizure which turned out to be an anomaly. No cause was determined and I have been well with the exception of some memory slippage. This morning I was up at 6 am, made some coffee, sipped a cup, put my track shoes and headed out for my morning walk/run. I was determined to be on time so I hurriedly put the garbage cans and recycle box at the front curb. It occurred to me that all my neighbours were somewhat late in completing that same chore. Thirty minutes later as I peered through my studio window I realized that it was Wednesday and garbage collection happens on Fridays. I had a meltdown. Suddenly I was sure that incident, combined with other recent and similar occurrences (which I can't remember right now) was proof that I was suffering early symptoms of a disease that would render me mindless. I suddenly became very afraid. I went to see my wife Christine to talk seriously to her about this and found myself breaking down under the weight of the realization of my weakness. She comforted me ever so patiently and then resilient and practical as always she said, "It's no big deal. It's Wednesday for the rest of us and Friday for you. That's not bad. Every day is Friday for you - the beginning of the weekend. The rest of us are just a bit slow."

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