Monday, October 6, 2008

Mom and Dad

At different times recently I have seen both Mom and Dad. You may know what I mean. I saw Dad, walking across the street the other day as I drove past him. The smallish man was wearing the type of hat and jacket dad used to wear and I looked hard at him to see why the man looked so much like Dad. I saw Mom a few days earlier. We were in downtown Vancouver and a woman who looked like Mom when she could still walk, was briskly moving down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. She stopped in front of me and looked across at me, and then carried on. In those moments I missed my Mom and Dad terribly. I feel ancient.

Mom died in November 2007 and Dad died in April 2008.

I am feeling vulnerable. All the weight loss progress I made from last Feb – July is being lost by bad eating habits and laziness. My work life was a primary motivator for my devotional life and I have to now re-learn a discipline for my bible study and prayer.

I have a lot for which to live. Today one of my three year old grandsons wore his backpack and wanted to go on a hike. I easily accommodated him since he has no understanding about hiking. I took him around the block. On one of the adjoining streets we found a small park with a playground for children. He was thrilled to use the playground toys that dig sand and rock on large springs, and I was equally satisfied to sit on a bench and watch him and dialogue with him as he chose. On our way back home, his tiny hand in mine, he sang to me tunes and lyrics he made up as we went.

I realized that it's okay to be the grandpa, the eldest surviving member in the lineage. It's good. I have the time. I must use it as my Father wants me to do.

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